So I haven’t been writing my post a week challenge because I feel like it should be something cool, or inspiring, or enlightening, or at least positive. But that’s not how things are going these days. So I can either abandon the challenge and wait until life gets better to post, or write fake surfacy posts that are not true reflections of myself, or just go with the flow and write the real deal. I’m not sure what will happen in the future, I may chose to be fake but today is the real deal….

So God and I are having a pow wow! Ok, so it’s more of a one-sided me cry, yell, and scream while He listens already knowing what I’m going to say. Today it’s about healing. Why God? Why have you not healed lil’ Sophie? Why does she have to struggle? She has done nothing to deserve this. Yet her 1st year of life has been nothing but a fight! You are the Almighty! You can do anything! Yet you do not heal her. Why?!?

I’m humbled as I recall Biblical accounts of Jesus healing people afflicted with ailments MUCH longer than a year! Many had disease and sickness most of their lives. (And in those days a person with S’s issues would have NEVER even made it close to a year). I’m also reminded of a conversation I had with a fellow from India who told me if S had been born today in India she wouldn’t have made it past 3 months.

And I’m upset that Lil’ Sophie has struggled for a whole year.

Healing. It’s a tricky subject.

I want to beg and plead with God….”please, heal her! Do whatever it takes to heal her!”
Really? Do I really mean that?
Or is my pleading for healing only a selfish plea?
Because the truth is that I want to add an addendum to my request which is “heal her while she is with me here on earth”.

I have absolutely no doubt that Lil’ Sophie will be healed.
The question is will it take place on earth or in heaven?
Therefore, I have to question my own plea….how badly do I want healing for my little girl?


About Jenny Bagwill

You know those milestone moments in your life where the course you were going completely jolts you into reevaluating all you think or believe? Mine came in 2010 along with a precious baby girl. My healthy pregnancy, produced a baby with many internal defects unveiling themselves after birth like a stack of falling dominos. We lost track of her surgery count once we hit double digits. By the grace of God, our little fighter has survived an open heart surgery as well as a liver transplant along with a myriad of tests, blood work, and medical visits. She’s doing quite well, and we share her journey here: http://www.lilsophie.wordpress.com I hope you take the time to read about our girlie and possibly leave a word of encouragement. My milestone moment (that has continued over the last 2 years), presented many idle hospital hours where I used my time to make hair clips for our little girl who battled to live. It also crossed my path with numerous families in many heartbreaking situations. This is when I decided to use my creativity to do what I can to help others. I try to use my God-given talents to encourage and inspire others which you’ll see me blog about here. I also make a lot of custom pieces to raise awareness of illnesses, syndromes, and diseases that may hit close to home with you. As you’ll see my pieces often contain encouraging words – things hard to say to others in the midst of their dark place. You can view, shop, or place a custom order at here at my JeWeL 4U Etsy Shop - http://www.etsy.com/shop/jewel4u And because our Lil’Sophie has had a liver transplant I always encourage others to consider registering to give the gift of life: http://www.organdonor.gov View all posts by Jenny Bagwill

4 responses to “Healing

  • Stacey Christen

    I wish I had some deep, insightful wisdom to share with you. I wish I could find something to say that would lift some of this weight off your heart. I wish I could do something that would make you feel better. Unfortunately, the only thing that I can think of to say is that you may not see me, but I’m here with and for you. You may not hear me, but your family is always in my prayers. You may not feel me, but Sophie’s plight is constantly on my mind. You are not alone. I hurt for you. I listen to your pain, and I cry with and for you.

  • Erin Keane

    Your family and sweet girl have been through so much! Wow. I visited your blog after reading your comments on mine, and I’m just blown away.

    I didn’t go very far back in posts but being that you commented on my visual journal pages, do you keep a journal or anything similar? That could become a powerful way to work through emotions, keep a record of day-to-day happenings and provide a first-person perspective of events. The JFJ challenge might feel cathartic, not just another thing on the to-do list!

    I wish you and your family the best.

    • lilsophie

      Thanks Erin! I’ve kept many journals over the years but I’ve never used them for my art. I’ve been too afraid I will mess them up or make a mistake. So they’ve only been filled with my writing.
      And this last year has been so tumultuous with my lil’ girlie’s health that I’ve found myself with both a creative block and a journal paralysis. But your right, I need to do this. It’s therapeutic, so I’m not allowing myself to get discouraged by falling behind. I will enjoy the process of creation as time allows.
      Thanks for your inspiring work! It helps keep my mind turning over new ideas that keep me motivated.

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